Introduction
Leading with Empathy is considered a leadership best practice nowadays. Hence, it’s important to know what it is, how it works, and how you can apply it. Spoiler alert: It’s not hard, it just takes heart. An Empathetic Leader is one who has a genuine interest in its team members, their well-being and feelings.
The evolution of Leading with Empathy
The word combination ‘Empathetic leadership’ has been around since the late 2000s during the rise of ‘transformational leadership’ (yeah don’t worry, we got an article on that here). And in the early 2010s we figured out that people generally work better, happier and more productive if they feel good. This transformation didn’t go unnoticed by scholars and leadership gurus so more articles, seminars and workshops dedicated to Empathetic leadership sprung up. But it wasn’t until the COVID-19 pandemic that all of the sudden, everyone learned what empathy really was and became widely adopted.
Today, it’s still considered as a way to create inclusive, high performing teams in which people feel valued, understood and motivated.
What does it mean to ‘Lead with Empathy’?
Empathetic leadership is a style of management characterized by understanding, reflecting, and responding to the emotions, perspectives, and needs of team members. Not only recognizing their feelings, but also actively showing care and compassion. Studies have demonstrated that such leaders excel in building trust between team members, providing psychological security, and developing an atmosphere where every individual feels appreciated and driven to do their best. Moreover, empathetic leadership does not require Leaders leaving behind their feelings; rather it consists of using them efficiently to build relationships with colleagues and enhance personal engagement for better results at the organization.
Simply put, less machine-more human.
It’s not that hard even though it requires you to switch off the skills that got you into your position as a leader. In my Leadership Coaching programs, we talk about ‘what to stop’ more than about ‘what we have to learn’ simply because if we’re able to stop imposing ourselves on each team member and their tasks, you’re likely already a better leader.
The 4 key principles of empathetic leadership and how they affect your staff
Let go of your spidey-senses
Takeaway 1: You control how you respond by acknowledging the neutrality of the Event
Let me explain. When you were a team member, you were valued for your contributions to the team, projects and results. Your spidey-sense allows you to separate good from bad and deliver high-quality output on your tasks. In all, you were a great individual contributor.
Your instinct is still intact and kicking each and every task’s ass. Now that you have people in your team though, this becomes a little bit of a trap.
What is judgement you ask? Think of it as follows: Your favourite team scores a goal. You’re happy. The fans of the other team are not happy. The event ‘scoring a goal’ is the same for both you and the opposing team’s fans. The judgement we put into it, is different.
The moment a task is delivered, an event transpires, results are bad or anything else, you revert to this spidey-sense. That’s what got you where you are today. Judgement. This judgement you carry into meetings, 1:1s, your mood and your feedback. It heavily affects your team’s morale, communications, commitment and therefore performance.
Whatever transpires. It’s you who decides what emotion to attach to the event. In the case of Empathic Leadership, not yours.
Understand we experience things differently
Takeaway 2: You and your team members are just too far apart from one another to be able to understand him or her properly.
Awesome. Now that you are able to remove your judgement from your equation, we can have a look at the situation. You and your team members will literally see things differently.
Let’s think back to the example of the goal scored by your favourite team. What you saw was a brilliant pass, good movement and a dashing finish. The opposing fans see poor defending, poor goalkeeping and quite frankly, they should have won the game!
How is it possible that we focus on completely different factors leading up to the goal?
Reason 1: A frequently researched topic called Confirmation Bias. Oftentimes, we see what we want to see.
Reason 2: We perceive things differently and therefore experience things differently. You might have referred to people as ‘logical’, ‘down to earth’ or ‘emotional’. Guess what. ‘Logical people’ perceive things differently than ‘emotional people’. (Remember MBTI?)
Reason 3: We pack different, often implied, expectations based on past experiences. Someone who’s had a horrible boss will come into a feedback session with a different emotional state than one who’s always been praised by Leadership. Expectations.
That brings us to the third, very important key principle of Empathetic Leadership.
Empathetic Leaders listen actively
Takeaway 3: Shut up and listen.
Another one of those buzzwords.. Active listening. What it means is that ‘you don’t listen to say something smart the moment someone else shuts up, but you listen to understand.’
Remember Stephen Covey’s “Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood”.
This last one is often a pitfall for my coaching clients. They often come from a belief that, as a leader, it is their role to tell. WRONG. It’s your role to listen and understand. It’s your role to explore thoughts, foster self-reflection and guide to better individual and team performance. How on earth would you be able to without understanding your team member?
Result: Empathetic Leaders create an emotional safe space
Takeaway: Becoming a more empathetic leader isn’t that hard, it just takes heart.
By applying the takeaways above, you’re automatically on track to creating an emotional safe space. I usually refer to my own teams as ‘treehuts of trust’. (I stole that from the movie Stepbrothers) and it brings the point across. Creating an emotional safe space helps incubate a high-performing team. It encourages speaking up and by doing so, trust.
Take into account that the creation of an emotional safe space takes time, especially if you or your team is used to operating in a more hostile environment.
Whether you’re making the changes right here, right now, or you’re giving your team some more time to blossom into a high-trust, high-performance team, I’m proud of you for taking those steps.
The benefits of Empathetic Leadership
Higher Trust
In a 2004 study called: “Psychological safety, trust, and learning in organizations: A group-level lens”, Edmunson concluded that psychological safety, which is the belief that one will not be punished or ridiculed for speaking up, is positively related to trust.
We’ve probably all been in at least 1 team in our lives in which we gossiped about ‘that one guy or girl’. Whether he or she took credits without deserving it, sabotaged employees to look better or just did a terrible job unpunished. It hurts morale. It hurts trust. It hurts productivity.
Being able to ask your team questions in front of other team members creates a Treehut of Trust between the Leader, the Team Member and the Rest of the Team.
- The Team appreciates transparency.
- The Team Member that is answering the questions, is being trusted more by the rest of the team because he or she can display competency in his or her expertise.
- As a Leader you’re harvesting appreciation. The Rest of the Team can learn that you appreciate input, listen intently and don’t judge (punished)
Stronger Teams
Siegel (2010) in his book, The mindful leader: How to cultivate wisdom, compassion, and courage in the face of uncertainty argues that empathetic leaders create an environment that increases employee engagement and performance. Additionally, an EY study shows that 79% of respondents think Empathetic Leadership decreases employee turnover and as much as 90% says it improves job satisfaction. Hold on! You’re saying that you can increase engagement, increase satisfaction, increase retention and increase performance. Imagine the compounding effect of that over the course of multiple years!
Quick tips on changing your team’s culture
- Announce to your team(s) that you want to change the team culture.
- Explain the desired outcomes.
- Inform that you are going to change and that you need their input.
This is crucial because it forces your teams to ‘be part’ of the solution.
My favourite question to mind blow my team: “How can I serve you better next time”
Asking that one simple question does a lot. It inverts the relationship you have with your team member, allowing you to become ‘human’. It allows space for them to give you feedback (!!) and it shows that you care about their work more than about your own. Most notably, they are now ‘part’ of the solution and therefore will notice that you are changing. As of then, it’s only a matter of time for the entire team to change with you.
The Wrap up
Leading with Empathy means actively understanding, reflecting on, and responding to the emotions, perspectives, and needs of team members. It involves removing personal judgments, recognizing that individuals perceive and experience events differently, and embracing active listening to foster a deeper understanding of team members. This leadership style creates an emotional safe space, where trust can flourish, ultimately leading to higher team performance and job satisfaction. Sounds like a no-brainer!
Empathetic Leadership brings several benefits, including increased trust within teams and reduced turnover rates. Studies have shown that it increases employee engagement and overall performance.
Changing your team’s culture to embrace Empathetic Leadership involves announcing your intention to change, explaining desired outcomes, and actively seeking input from team members. By involving your team in the process and adopting a new leadership mindset, you can create a high-trust, high-performance team and reap the rewards of empathy-driven leadership.
Remember, becoming an empathetic leader isn’t challenging; it just takes heart and a commitment to positive change.
References:
- Deliu D. Empathetic Leadership – Key Element for Inspiring Strategic Management and a Visionary Effective Corporate Governance. 2019.
- Negoro MCW, Wibowo A. Empathetic Leadership, Job Satisfaction and Intention to Leave among Millennials in a Start-up Industry: Needs’ Satisfaction as a Mediating Variable. Journal of Indonesian Economy and Business. 2021;36(2):136-154. https://doi.org/10.22146/jieb.v36i2.1398.
- Confirmation Bias. https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-a-confirmation-bias-2795024.
- Edmondson AC. Psychological Safety, Trust, and Learning in Organizations: A Group-Level Lens. In: Kramer RM, Cook KS, eds. Trust and distrust in organizations: Dilemmas and approaches. Russell Sage Foundation; 2004:239-272.
- Linvill JS, Onosu GO. Stories of Leadership: Leading with Empathy through the COVID-19 Pandemic. Sustainability. 2023;15(9):7708. https://doi.org/10.3390/su15097708.
- Jacob P. Empathetic Leader: The ‘Style’ of Today. Journal of Multidisciplinary Research Studies. January 2015;1(1):43-44. Available at SSRN: https://ssrn.com/abstract=2641271
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